Bird Clock Is Driving Me Cuckoo!

This last weekend, I was at my mom and stepdad’s for a short visit. We talked and so on and time just flew on by. When I heard the kingfisher bird call, wow, I didn’t know it was that late.

That’s right. My mom is a proud owner of a genuine plastic singing bird clock, that has been approved by the Bird Watchers Society. I know you can hardly control your enthusiasm.

Just to recap, I don’t really like birds, and I’m pretty sure the feeling is mutual. But my mom loves them. She puts up bird feeders and bird baths and plants flowers that attract them. She has done everything short of joining the Bird Watchers Society.

I don’t really remember who bought the clock for her. Maybe she even bought it for herself. “Yep, a signing bird clock would be a lovely addition to our home. It will look lovely in the hallway.”

Now in case you have been living under a rock for the last decade or so and haven’t seen a commercial or scanned the “As Seen on TV” aisle in the stores, let me explain how it works. It’s sort of like the modern day version of a cuckoo clock. The numbers have been replaced with pictures of birds, and when the clock strikes the hour, the bird sings.

The bird sounds are very authentic recordings of actual bird calls. Nothing but the best for the Bird Watchers Society. They sing, and sing... every hour... All day... every day... day after day... rain or shine... 365 days a year and even on Leap Year Day.

There is a mocking bird, a chickadee, a cardinal, a woodpecker, a goose, a wren, a robin, a sparrow, a kingfisher, a titmouse, an oriole, and – the last one to make the cut – the great horned owl.

How did the Bird Watchers Society choose the birds? Was there hours and hours of debates or did they just put them all in a hat and picked 12 of them? Thank you for not choosing the crow.

When I was still living at home, the thing had the uncanning knack for singing at the time when I least expect it. Imagine trying to understand an algebra assignment deep in thought and suddenly a Canadian goose honks out at you, or you are on the phone and a woodpecker is pecking or you are in a different room and you hear a terrible commotion, to only realize it’s just the clock reaching the hour of mockingbird.

My sister Amanda was a nanny to a little boy named Trent. She would bring him over to hang out and play. He knew when it was time to go back home when the Canadian goose would honk, five o’clock for all you non-bird clock owners. Trent wouldn’t move from his spot until he heard it and after it rang he would chant. “Goose, goose, home, honk, honk, bye, goose, honk, honk!” Mind you he wasn’t even 3 years old yet.

One of my friends also has this clock and every time it chimes their dog runs to the clock, wondering where the bird is. The dog does a few laps around the room to try and find the suspect. It’s entertainment for the whole family.

The only relief from the clock is it has a light sensor that prevents it from singing at all hours of the night. Makes you wonder if the designers have a hunch that it might become extremely irritating.

Well, I’d really love to write more, but it’s half past the wren and it’s soon going to strike the robin and I better get dinner ready!